Monday, March 3, 2008

Queen Victoria's Jacuzzi: Cheaper Than a Happy Ending

I envisioned enormous Olympic swimming pools where I’d spend afternoons doing laps when I first booked this cruise. It wasn’t crucial or anything, but I did go to the trouble of getting a pair of goggles. Sadly, this was never meant to be and my goggles are currently collecting dust in a drawer (minus the time I drunkenly danced around the cabin for fun in them). Anyhow, in the spirit of journalistic integrity it bears mentioning to you, the possible consumer that both swimming pools are kinda smallish. Obviously they’re large enough for a cooling dip, but they’re utterly unsuitable for exercise. And while the Jacuzzis are a pleasant experience a gal could get pregnant in one without even trying. 3 people at a time is probably the max (2 if you have personal space issues) when sitting with strangers, unless you’re all built like Mary-Kate Olsen.

As Will Ferrell says, “We should mention that although the waters above appear calm, below the surface there is a frenzy of activity.” At least this is what I could imagine easily happening, quite by accident with too many people, which is why I’ve only been in the Jacuzzis once. All that whining aside, the sundeck itself is a lovely place with its ample seating, towel and beverage service and a reggae band that plays at all the right times. Go at midday when it’s less crowded (read: everyone’s at lunch) and you’ll have the place to yourself. Just be prepared for more of a loungey scene where you can enjoy the golden glow of the sun, splash in for a quick dip and instantly repair back to the chaise lounge for an Apricot Stone Sour and some trashy magazine reading.

Apricot Stone Sour

1 oz. Apricot Brandy
1 oz. Sweet & Sour Mix
1 oz. Orange Juice (no pulp)

Shake all ingredients with ice, strain into a lowball glass & serve with orange slice

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