Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Onboard Talent Show: Somewhere Dogs Howl, Mirrors Break

Ah, the age old passenger talent show. If you raided a nursing home, plied the residents with cheap shots of tequila and then forced them onstage without the benefit of a single rehearsal you’ve got an idea as to what this onstage lunacy is all about. Dreadfully entertaining in a Catskills-at-Sea meets One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest sort of a way. Wildly off-key singing and the reading of limericks are just the tip of the iceberg. The dramatic reading of limericks you say? As a talent? And yet, I’m afraid it’s true.

As such, my VIP award from the most recent Queen Victoria talent show goes to a man and his stuffed monkey doll for reasons that should be obvious. (See video below) However, never one to skimp on the praise of these burgeoning artistes I’d also like to include nods to the two runners-up who include:

1. A woman who has never taken a piano lesson in her life attempting to play The Man of La Mancha’s “The Impossible Dream” (a rather fitting title given the performance)


2. A gentleman performing a “comical” monologue about his life i.e. “One time I was this landlord and people were making love really loudly upstairs – I called ‘em up and told ‘em they had two choices – the first was to stop the loud love making, the second choice was that if they didn’t, I was going to sell tickets!!!”

Oh yes, hardy-har-har.

So for those of you planning a Cunard cruise anytime soon, break out that accordion you haven’t seen since high school band camp and start practicing – who knows, with competition like this you just may get discovered.


ms. coots said...

apparently there's no screening process unlike american idol...

ms. coots said...

good god. i just watched the clip. i wish you could have seen my expression...stunned, bewildered, hurt, confused. it wasn't at all funny and i'm amazed that the performer is remarkably unphased by this. i'm at a loss for words. citronella...? i think i'm calling the u.s. coast guard because i'm afraid that all of the passengers have lost their minds...it's like you're on a floating gong show!