Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Shiver Me Timbers

Nothing spoils a vacation quite like raping and pillaging, that's what I say. Apparently Cunard agrees, since they've just installed a sonic boom canon designed to deter people of the peg-legged, beer swilling, pet bird keeping variety from hijacking our ship. Unfortunately, this cannon like, so totally kills my idea for a passenger pirate-watch party sponsored by Captain Morgan Rum. Throw in a few pairs of binoculars, an all-you-can-drink rum bar and some wasted cruise guests and I'm thinking this would be much less expensive than the LRAD (Long Range Acoustic Technology), but what the hell do I know about marketing or business strategy. Seriously though Captain Morgan...if you're out there...I'm looking for a job in May.

Even though it ruined my Great Idea of the Century, I will forgive the LRAD's presence onboard since it will prevent us from being kidnapped for ransom like that French yacht and will save us from gunfire in the Suez Canal (where we happen to be headed).

And FYI peeps. Mark your calendars. Or treasure maps. Or whatever. International Talk Like a Pirate Day is September 19th.

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